The Sexuality Deception, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, wellness, nearness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) here are the findings with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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