The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there get more for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar